whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
