Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
