I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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