I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
