is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
