The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
handjob tips. give me some.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
