so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
