He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
