this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize