Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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