I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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