It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
