I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
