Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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