There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
