just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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