The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
being pregnant is like rehab
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
