After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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