I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
