I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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