I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
