at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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