Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
