eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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