Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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