Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
