tell your sister to shave her snatch
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
