There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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