its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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