so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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