found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
