I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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