I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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