the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
