We won't sleep together?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
