I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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