Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
