just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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