girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
