Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
