Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
