You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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