the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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