is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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