i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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