Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
