You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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