If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
