Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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