Quick, to the slutcave!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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