are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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