Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
