OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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