DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
