I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize