Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i drank out of a bidet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
