So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize