What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
