all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
