I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
